Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP

This was shared with me a while back and I thought the message was worth passing on....



If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional need s, values, dreams,weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,healthy, loving and lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice E-mail. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

IT's OK TO QUIT!!

A friend set this to me in an email and it made me think so I decided it would be great to share..
..
It Is Okay To Quit!



I was on a plane reading an article that John Maxwell wrote about "quitting." I was in shock! In this article he talked about having some health challenges that caused him to re-evaluate what he was doing and why. He and his doctor decided he was going to need to make some adjustments if he wanted to stick around. The more I read the more that I realized no one ever gives us permission to quit!


1) Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness!
-Respect their position and keep it moving!

2) Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them!
-And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

3) Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you!
-Either they believe in you and value you ...or they don't!

4) Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!
-I am not working on being a size 6 or a model...so instead of complaining about the weight charts, I negotiated with my doctor for a "comfortable weight for me." Forget the charts! I created my own "healthy weight!"

5) Quit gossiping about other people!
-Minding our own business should be a full time job!

6) Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter 3 weeks from now!
-Talk solutions...and then implement them!

7) Quit eating things you know are not good for you!
-If you can't quit...eat smaller portions! (I know...this is hard for me too!)

8) Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them!
-If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores!
-Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!

9) Quit staying in unhealthy relationships!
-It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself!
-It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

10) Quit letting family members rope you into the drama!
-Start telling them you don't want to hear it!
-Quit spreading the drama!
-Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 - minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

11) Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN"T WORK!
-I am still working on this because I really see a world of possibilities for others and try to convince them to see and want differently for themselves!
-Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

12) Quit the job you hate!
-Start pursuing your passion
-HINT: find the job that fuels your passion before you quit!

13) Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore!
-Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

14) Quit listening to the naysayers!
-Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!

15) Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!

16) Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself!

If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!

-Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!
-Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE!

CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

Peace and blessings!