Understanding that GOD loves us all equally .. I also understand that we are not all the same.. We are different and Unique and that should be celebrated not scorned..
That being said I am a thinker and a planner and though some Christians would accuse me of not having a strong enough faith ..Hence They will always quote 2 Corinthians 5:7We live by faith, not by sight... I will not take away or change the word as it is written .. Please hear me out.. some of us are planners so we plan our work and work our plan..
Now finally I have found scripture that supports how I was made.. I am a planner. GOD Honors Planning.. They speak of planning in Proverbs 15:22 22 Plans fail for lack of counsel,but with many advisers they succeed. Also
Proverbs 21:5 5 The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.
These verses resonated with me because I AM A PLANNER and I am tired of being ashamed of that or feeling that my faith wasnt as strong because I make plans for my goals.. GOD HONORS PLANNING.. and just because we plan , this is not a sign of lack of faith or spirituality. We too are OBEDIENT to GOD's word
I am currently studying NEHEMIAH.. He did his HOMEWORK..NEHEMIAH was a man with a PLAN.. He was a careful PLANNER
That being said and my declaration being made.. I also know that , all the planning in the world cannot substitute for the power of GOD Proverbs 16:3 3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,and your plans will succeed.
Nehemiah 2:8 8 And because the gracious hand of my God was upon me, the king granted my requests.
Nehemiah was an excellent planner the king saw this and supported him.. My father always told me that noone can stand in the way of a man that knows where he is going.. They will either lead you, follow you or just get out of your way.. A man who knows where he is going is a MAN WITH A PLAN..
So as an OBEDIENT Christian I will continue to PLAN MY WORK & WORK MY PLAN!!!! in his name for this is the walk that he has chosen for me..
REMEMBER : A DREAM WITHOUT A PLAN IS A WISH!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
This was shared with me a while back and I thought the message was worth passing on....
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional need s, values, dreams,weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,healthy, loving and lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice E-mail. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional need s, values, dreams,weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,healthy, loving and lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice E-mail. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
IT's OK TO QUIT!!
A friend set this to me in an email and it made me think so I decided it would be great to share..
..
It Is Okay To Quit!
I was on a plane reading an article that John Maxwell wrote about "quitting." I was in shock! In this article he talked about having some health challenges that caused him to re-evaluate what he was doing and why. He and his doctor decided he was going to need to make some adjustments if he wanted to stick around. The more I read the more that I realized no one ever gives us permission to quit!
1) Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness!
-Respect their position and keep it moving!
2) Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them!
-And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!
3) Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you!
-Either they believe in you and value you ...or they don't!
4) Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!
-I am not working on being a size 6 or a model...so instead of complaining about the weight charts, I negotiated with my doctor for a "comfortable weight for me." Forget the charts! I created my own "healthy weight!"
5) Quit gossiping about other people!
-Minding our own business should be a full time job!
6) Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter 3 weeks from now!
-Talk solutions...and then implement them!
7) Quit eating things you know are not good for you!
-If you can't quit...eat smaller portions! (I know...this is hard for me too!)
8) Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them!
-If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores!
-Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!
9) Quit staying in unhealthy relationships!
-It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself!
-It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!
10) Quit letting family members rope you into the drama!
-Start telling them you don't want to hear it!
-Quit spreading the drama!
-Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 - minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!
11) Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN"T WORK!
-I am still working on this because I really see a world of possibilities for others and try to convince them to see and want differently for themselves!
-Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!
12) Quit the job you hate!
-Start pursuing your passion
-HINT: find the job that fuels your passion before you quit!
13) Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore!
-Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!
14) Quit listening to the naysayers!
-Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!
15) Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!
16) Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself!
If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!
-Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!
-Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE!
CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT and START DOING something to create the experience you want!
Peace and blessings!
..
It Is Okay To Quit!
I was on a plane reading an article that John Maxwell wrote about "quitting." I was in shock! In this article he talked about having some health challenges that caused him to re-evaluate what he was doing and why. He and his doctor decided he was going to need to make some adjustments if he wanted to stick around. The more I read the more that I realized no one ever gives us permission to quit!
1) Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness!
-Respect their position and keep it moving!
2) Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them!
-And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!
3) Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you!
-Either they believe in you and value you ...or they don't!
4) Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!
-I am not working on being a size 6 or a model...so instead of complaining about the weight charts, I negotiated with my doctor for a "comfortable weight for me." Forget the charts! I created my own "healthy weight!"
5) Quit gossiping about other people!
-Minding our own business should be a full time job!
6) Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter 3 weeks from now!
-Talk solutions...and then implement them!
7) Quit eating things you know are not good for you!
-If you can't quit...eat smaller portions! (I know...this is hard for me too!)
8) Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them!
-If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores!
-Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!
9) Quit staying in unhealthy relationships!
-It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself!
-It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!
10) Quit letting family members rope you into the drama!
-Start telling them you don't want to hear it!
-Quit spreading the drama!
-Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 - minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!
11) Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN"T WORK!
-I am still working on this because I really see a world of possibilities for others and try to convince them to see and want differently for themselves!
-Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!
12) Quit the job you hate!
-Start pursuing your passion
-HINT: find the job that fuels your passion before you quit!
13) Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore!
-Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!
14) Quit listening to the naysayers!
-Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!
15) Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!
16) Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself!
If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!
-Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!
-Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE!
CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT and START DOING something to create the experience you want!
Peace and blessings!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
SINGING YOUR SONG
SINGING YOUR SONG……
When a woman in certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends, and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else. When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her
Later, when the child begins his or her education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through initiation into adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of his or her marriage, the person hears their song. Finally when the soul is about to pass from this world , the family and friends gather at the person’s bedside, just as they did at birth, and they sing their loved one into the next life.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion when the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or an aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing that individual’s song to them.. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment but love, and the remembrance of one’s identity. When you recognize your own song, you have neither the desire nor the need to do anything that would hurt another.
A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or by the dark images you may hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful it doesn’t In the end , we will all recognize our song and sing it well .. You may feel a little wobbly at times but so have all the great singers
With Love
From me
To You!!!!
When a woman in certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends, and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else. When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her
Later, when the child begins his or her education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through initiation into adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of his or her marriage, the person hears their song. Finally when the soul is about to pass from this world , the family and friends gather at the person’s bedside, just as they did at birth, and they sing their loved one into the next life.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion when the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or an aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing that individual’s song to them.. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment but love, and the remembrance of one’s identity. When you recognize your own song, you have neither the desire nor the need to do anything that would hurt another.
A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or by the dark images you may hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful it doesn’t In the end , we will all recognize our song and sing it well .. You may feel a little wobbly at times but so have all the great singers
With Love
From me
To You!!!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
IS HE THE RIGHT ONE
I DONT REMEMBER WHERE I FIRST SAW THIS (BECAUSE I COLLECT SO MANY THINGS THAT CAUSE ME TO THINK) SO THANK YOU TO THE ORIGINATOR.. THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH SHARING AGAIN
THE RIGHT ONE
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.
"What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)!
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.
READ THE REST
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? I f you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).
Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. I s the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.
A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever.
Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identy in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?
This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.
This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!
God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.
So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for free.
Our prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father God,
I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me.
I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Ladies this is something you should definitely share with a friend, whether you are single or married... It is something to think about, When you ask is "He" the one!
THE RIGHT ONE
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.
"What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)!
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.
READ THE REST
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? I f you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).
Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. I s the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.
A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever.
Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identy in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?
This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.
This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!
God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.
So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for free.
Our prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father God,
I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me.
I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Ladies this is something you should definitely share with a friend, whether you are single or married... It is something to think about, When you ask is "He" the one!
A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
Well here I am at approximately midnight on the east coast entering for the first time in my life into the wonderful world of blogging... Why you may ask? Well it is because I have always had a voice, and definitely always had an opinion.. So here is where I begin to share.. Alot of what I will share in this forum is wisdom that has come across my path.. Whether it is from my elders , my peers or sometimes even a child ( the bible says "A child shall lead them)... Bottom line if I found it memorable , meaning it resonated within my soul, I will share it here.. I will always give credit to the original author or the person that shared it with me... I am all about passing on the wisdom and the jewels that shaped my life and contributed to the woman that I have become...
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional need s, values, dreams,weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,healthy, loving and lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
That being said..ENJOY!! GOD BLESS
A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional need s, values, dreams,weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,healthy, loving and lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice E-mail. Sharing common goals and interests.
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice E-mail. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
Thank you MikeBoogie for this share
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